foreign and familiar

When I was in highschool I had this thing I would say. I'd say that, someday, I was going to move to Seattle and get season tickets to the Seahawks. I remember coming to Seattle on our annual "Seattle trips" and just staring out the window as we drove down the city streets in our huge blue bus, head cranked upwards, trying to see the tops of the buildings. I thought this city was magical--but never a place I would actually live.

Right now I'm sitting in a cute little coffee shop at the top of the hill in Queen Anne. This is my neighborhood now. My home. I live in the city and it's kind of strange--still. Everyone around me looks like they belong here, like it ain't no thang that they just rode public transportation to get to dinner, or that their dog just pooped and...look at that... they have a baggie. I still find myself staring a lot, wondering about their stories and if that piercing hurt. Yikes, I bet it did. Basically, I think I'm still in awe of it all. I think I didn't ever really believe that I would live in Seattle, and I almost don't believe it now. Not because it's some lovely, magical place, but because I pictured my life being a lot different than this. I'm not really sure what the picture looked like--but I think there was a husband, and maybe a dog, and I think I was in Walla Walla. Yuck. If I lived in Walla Walla right now I think my insides might be exploding, and I would probably be longing for a life like this.

So, here I am six years later, still smashing my forehead up against the window to look at the tops of buildings in a city where I live. I wonder if I'll lose this sense of awe someday. I wonder if my breath will always catch every time I come around that one bend where the skyline fills my windshield, or if I'll ever be one of those people running across that busy bridge, undaunted by the huge tons of metal flying past them. I guess I hope it's a mix. I hope I don't lose my wonder, but I also hope I feel more like this is my home someday. Southern's still got me...but Seattle is in it to win it.

ruuushed.

Friends, I have internet for about 15 minutes, which is just enough time to write a quick update on the life of Tara.

Lots of things have happened recently. Well, maybe not lots, but enough to feel like my life is significantly different than it was a month ago. I'd say the main thing that's happened that has trickled down into other changes is the fact that I moved a couple weeks ago. I'm now actually living IN Seattle, instead of the "Seattle area". This means lots of things... it means a new roommate and a new apartment. It means being close to friends I want to invest in and a community I want to be a part of. It means I'll go to church more and it means I'll start moving forward. It means that I live in Seattle, and I'm starting to accept that.

I joined a community group that's put on by the church I've been going to. We met tonight for the first time and I just feel really excited about it. I feel excited because I met new people who have depth and...well actually, I think I'm most excited that they're new. I mean, they're cool and I think I'll be friends with some of them--but for now I just like that they're new.

My commute to work is about an hour now--as opposed to the 17 minutes it took me before. This means I'm waking up at 6am. This means I am tired. But you know what this does not mean? It doesn't mean that I'm grumpy in the morning. I know you don't believe me, doubters, but I speak the truth. Just ask Katie...this morning I was singing Little Mermaid whilst putting on my makeup. That's right friends, I'm a new woman.

Oh darn. They're closing so I gotsta bounce. Someday Katie and I will get internet in our apartment and I'll write more on this thing. Until then... I guess there will be nothing on here, imagine that.