Thursday, April 2, 2009

we're missing the point

I had the privilege of going to a sit down dinner where Ben Carson was speaking tonight. Dr. Bietz and Dr. Wygal had reserved a table for Southern, and they invited Christina (another student worker) and I to come along. I had heard a lot about Ben Carson, and was excited to have the opportunity to hear him in person. To be honest, I didn't know who Ben Carson was until earlier this year. Apparently, that's ridiculous judging from the reactions I got when I first admitted this. Word on the street is that this man is a pretty big deal in the Adventist community.

When we got to the Chattanooga Convention Center we found our table amongst the hundreds that were already set up with delicious looking pasta salad, dinner rolls, and cheesecake. While we waited for the event to start we enjoyed some pleasant conversation with some of the most influential people at our school. I got to witness Rika Wygal making some light hearted jabs at Dr. Wygal, immediately recognizing that Dr. Wygal had met his perfect match. And I got to listen as Mrs. Bietz told me about her new revelations as she's grown accustomed to Dr. Bietz' rigorous travel schedule. It's interesting, because the more I get to know these people, the more human they become to me. We talked about how sweaty we get during the summer, how frizzy our hair gets in the humidity, and how frustrating contacts can be when you're first trying to get them in. It's through these conversations that I realize that we're all made up of the same stuff. We all serve the same God, we all seek the same things; affirmation, love, acceptance. We are all human.


After we sat around for a bit the event finally started. A guy got up and started talking about this organization called, "Why Know?". Come to find out, this organization was the reason this event was taking place. It was a coming out party, they were planning to reveal their name change and their new mission, and this was the entire reason that we were there. But, not for our table. We came to hear Ben Carson speak. A lot of us didn't even know what "Why Know?" was.

From what I gathered "Why Know" (now "On Point") is a kind of mentor program for local highschools. Sarah and Nick say they've understood them to be an organization that promotes abstinence in the high schools, but from what I understand they do a lot of different things for teens in the community. Good things. Admirable things. Life changing things.

Before Ben Carson came up to speak the director of this organization gave a presentation on "Why Know?". She told success stories about teens whose lives had been impacted by this organization, emphasizing that this program is about forming relationships. These are teens who have been involved in gangs, are doing drugs, are having sex....are broken. These are teens searching for acceptance, and finding it in these people. It was inspiring listening to this woman speak. She was passionate, she was transparent, and she was absolutely dedicated to this outreach program.

After she gave her talk, it was time for her to introduce "The Man". In her introduction she listed the many things that Ben Carson had accomplished, from receiving the Jefferson Award to being the first to separate Siamese twins. This man...was impressive.

And then, there he was.

Ben Carson.

In the flesh.

He gave a good talk. He reflected on his life, explaining how he got to the place he is now, and what he has learned. But, to be honest, I wasn't overly impressed. He said a lot of things that weren't really new. He said things like, "We have to make sure to let them [teens] know that it's ok to fail." and "We need to teach children the correct model for marriage." No doubt, these are good things. Things that I would definitely agree are important...but there didn't seem to be a whole lot of meat. Nothing that made me tilt my head, squint my eyes, say "mmmm", and nod my head. And I wasn't sitting there waiting to be blown out of my seat, but for everything that has been said about him, I guess I was looking for some inspiration, or insight that maybe would change the way I view life and the world. There was one thing he said that did make me think a lot, and I'll probably blog about that later, but my point here is...I was more touched and inspired by the woman who spoke before, than by this man. Don't get me wrong, this man is really brilliant. No doubt a man of God, using his incredible talent to touch hundreds, no probably thousands, of lives. And for this I really do think he's exceptional...but maybe not any more than other gifted people I've come across. Gifted people that haven't met the president, who haven't separated one brain from another, and who don't bring in hundreds of people when they are asked to speak somewhere. But gifted people just the same.

After Dr. Carson was done speaking, a high school junior named Anna Stroud took the stage. She started talking about how her life has changed since she's become involved with "Why Know?" She talked about her insecurities and struggles as she tried to deal with the pressures that our society has put on young girls, and the peer pressure she was getting to conform to the materialistic ideals.

It was at this point that I started noticing something shocking. People were actually getting up and leaving. Right in the middle of this young girls testimony, people were checking out. They had heard Ben Carson speak, and that's what they had come for, now it was time to go. I sat there, astonished, watching women gather up their purses, and men straightening their suits, thinking to myself, "you are missing the point!"

THIS girl. THESE teens. THESE stories. THEY are the reason that we were there, or the reason we should have been there. It wasn't about Ben Carson. He was a bonus, no doubt...there wouldn't have been such a turn out if it wasn't for him. But the point of this whole thing was to inspire, to raise awareness, and to create a passion for our broken teens. But it had become about the person, and not about the cause.

It's so easy to glorify people isn't it? We are a nation that measures people's worth by their accomplishments, not who they are. If you're not interesting enough, successful enough, pretty enough, or smart enough, you're not worth our time. We are called to "not be of this world", but we have become enamored with prestige, and awed by material success. Ben Carson, as I think I've emphasized already, is an amazing man. I don't want to minimize how giving and influential he's been in furthering the kingdom of God and impacting lives. But this man is human, just like Anna. He struggles with the same things, breathes the same air, and...(I was thinking about talking about poop here, I think I'll refrain....).

We are all made up of the same stuff. We worship the same God, we seek the same things; affirmation, love, acceptance. But so often we miss the point. We forget that there is a cause to become passionate about that is so much greater and bigger than anything we could create for ourselves. Jesus didn't want to be a celebrity, he didn't want people to put him on a pedestal. The people that He glorified were the down trodden, the outcasts, and the broken. It wasn't about Him and the amazing things He could do, it was about the cause.


This experience was awesome, and I'm so glad I went. But I'm not glad for the reasons I thought I would be, and I wasn't inspired by the people I thought I would be inspired by. But I'm pretty sure that's the beauty of it.

See it Tara. See through the fluff, the titles, and the fame. See the cause, and see the people. See each individual for who they are, not what they've done. See the beauty in brokenness, and the value in success. Find the balance. And don't forget that you, too, are human.


Thursday, March 26, 2009

Time to make some memories

List of things to do before school is out:
  • Family pictures
  • Learn Bollywood dance
  • Build a fort in the apartment...and maybe the woods?
  • Shoot a spoof intro Friends video...with our friends
  • Play basketball
  • Camp on the biology trails
  • Picture swap
  • Sarah and I want to pick out our hair and dress up like rock stars
  • Experience Waffle House
  • Make a cd of songs filled with memories and interviews
  • Decoupage a collage with everyone's contributions
  • Get decked out and go out on the town
  • Go to a restaurant and order for each other (secretly)
  • Bonfire cookout on the biology trails
  • Take more pictures!
  • Play glow in the dark football
  • Paint raw eggs, hide them, find them, throw them at each other
  • Climb a building in downtown Chattanooga!
  • Swing dance party
  • Rockin farewell to our graduating friends
Some of the things on here have been on our list for a long time...and I've heard whispers of doubt that it's not going to happen. Oh, but it will. I want to pack as many memories into this next month as possible...because it's never going to be like this again...

Scheduling will be starting ASAP. Hope your weekends are open!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Brittany Beat Box Balloons Bomb Birthday Blast



Friends are awesome.
Nick Livanos is an editing genius.
I love you Brittany Graves!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

attitude is almost everything


Tonight was pretty rough. I put Debbie Downer, Pessimistic Polly, AND Grumpy Gus all to shame as I moped around and glared in silence as all my friends got excited about our road trip. My disposition was no fault of my friends, it was all me. All the crankiness, irritation, and frustration...it was all a result of my brain making a point to be as pessimistic as possible about the coming trip. I'm not really sure why, or what caused it...but oh man was I determined to not get excited, pondering every couple of minutes how upset everyone would get if I decided not to go. Which is ironic considering my last post shows some pretty strong feelings leaning in the opposite direction.

It's interesting what attitude can do to you. It can shift your world in a matter of minutes and can generally make or break your day, or month, or year, or life.

I wanted to write this down because I want to remember what I felt like before I left on this trip, and I want to look back on my ridiculous mindset that I had tonight with a sense of victory. I'm about to make some epic memories and not regret AT ALL my decision to go on this adventure.

Here's to a 4:30am wake up call.

Bounce Snap 2009!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Break out for Spring!!!

In TWO days I'm starting an epic road trip to here....


Stopping to check out this place...


And this place...


Doing things like this...


With these people....



























....in a van.


Friday please come soooooonnn!!!!

Friday, February 13, 2009

My Cup Floweth Over

One day.

One day to see all the people in Walla Walla that I love.

I've lived here since 7th grade. The list is long....and awesome.

Unlike when I came home at Christmas break, the campus was full. School is in session.

For the first time since I've been at Southern, I thought about what it would be like if I was here. And I wondered if maybe I should have stayed. I know that Southern is where God wants me to be. I KNOW this. But these people...this place...has a piece of my soul. I've gone through so much, and experienced so many things with these friends. To be known so wholly, and still be loved, is a really beautiful thing.

But like I said, yesterday was crazy. It went like this:

  • 10am: Coffee at Black Cup with Melissa. That place has changed...but it still smells the same...like coffee and new furniture. I miss it.
  • 11am: Dairy Express run with Jess. Hot Cheetos with lime! My favorite! They don't have those back in ol' Tennessee. Long talks in Dorm, lunch in cafeteria. That place still stresses me out. So many lines! How do you choose!?




  • 12:30p: Walk down College Avenue, stumbled upon my cousin. She's having a rough go of it...God has really awesome timing. While sitting on the curb a couple friends pulled over to jump out and give love. Walla Walla is still so FULL of people I love!






  • 1:30: Quiznos run with Dmack Dizzle. That place smells weird...do all Quiznos smell like that?





  • 3:00p: Stop by the ol' high school to see some old teachers, Kim, Schafer, Deming. Nothing has changed... My Spanish teacher tried to talk to me in Spanish again...That conversation never ceases to be short and depressing. The worst part is when he talks really slow in Spanish and says, "Comprendes?" And I stand there trying to think of what maybe the proper response might be..."si?"...he starts again, even slower..."Comprendes?"..."Ah si"...But really, no. Oh Walla Walla Valley Academy...thanks for shaping me.



  • 4:00p: Dorm room stop with Alyssa! I was her dean at MBA, she was one of my closest friends there, and probably one of the reasons I stayed sane. It was so awesome to catch up. She's grown so much!




  • 5:15p: Kristen Coffeen. Close friends since 8th grade. This quality time was long overdue. Went to her house, sat on her bed, spilled about our lives, our growth, and our passions. She's a kindred spirit...a friend for life. We made fudge too. Oh chocolate, you are so magical.



  • 8:00p: Karl comes and gets me. Best friends since freshman year. Sometimes I feel like he knows me better than I know myself. The things I tell him I've learned about myself...he already seems to know. Our relationships has always been really unique, and interesting. He's getting married. So crazy!


  • 9:00p: Ryan picks us up to go to the Office party with awesome people I haven't seen forever. Lance Davis broke his thumb...he's got a cast on. I wrote on it "Get a body cast, then I'll be impressed." Today he texted me and said, "Crochet a freaking bed, then I'll be impressed." (Those who haven't met Lance...wait for Mivoden...you'll love him).


  • 10:00p: Sharla time! I've been waiting for this all day. This girl soothes my soul. I'm so proud of the woman she's becoming. So beautiful, inside and out. We don't talk a whole lot when we're apart, but it's always the same when we're together. Absolute acceptance, and just so REAL. She graduates this year...I hope she gets out of here...this girl is going to change lives.

  • 11:30p: Home. Climbing into bed, exhausted. But FULL.
  • 8:00a: Early Coffee with Ryan and awkward store shopping. Oh how much better this coffee date went. Communication is so good!






  • Later today I get to go to lunch with Jenny and Amber. Two girls I've had in my cabin for the last 3 years. They are HYSTERICAL and amazing girls. Jenny is probably one of the funniest people I know, and she is 14. Today she took off a whole day from school just to so we could hang out. Good influence? Probably not. But worth it? Heck YES.


Since I've been at Southern it's always been easy for me to disassociate myself from what's happening here at Walla Walla. I always think of it as a sink hole for me, a place that has nothing to offer me anymore. Now I can't believe I didn't realize what I was doing. I mean, I knew that these people were here, and that I missed them...but I don't think it ever hit me what I gave up when I left. These people are graduating...some of us will never be in the same place again...and I left.

Oh God, let these friendships stay whole. Thank you for being wiser and stronger than I could ever be. Thank you for friendships that last through distance and time. May I never take it for granted again.







Friday, January 23, 2009

The Depths


I'm selfish.

When I was in fifth grade stickers became really popular (does anyone else remember that?). We would go to these machines in the stores and buy stickers...and if we had cool ones...we would trade them. Sometimes, if our stickers were lame, we would trade 3 lame ones for 1 semi cool one. And if we were really good negotiators...you might actually get a cool one for 3 lame ones. I won't go too into depth with the whole trading process, I feel like it might reveal too much about how stupid it was. But I do remember this one especially dramatic incident. You see, I had 4 matching dog and alien heads. Each dog head matched the alien head. And yes, this collection was the envy of all the fifth graders. Everyone wanted this one specific set of alien/dog heads. They were bright tie dye colors...with shimmery blocks that would glisten when you moved it back and forth. I got offered entire sticker collections for those two stickers. I got offered money...and I think one girl actually cried. But I wouldn't cave. Those were MY stickers...and I was going to keep them...and not stick them on ANYTHING.

I'm selfish.

I was the point guard on my varsity basketball team my senior year of high school. I got a lot of playing time...and was fully aware of the fact that my coach counted on me a lot. To be honest, I was pretty proud of myself. But of course I was really humble whenever anyone would say anything. I would say things like, "Well it's a team effort, I couldn't win by myself" or "Aw thanks, did you see Krystal's shot though? She did really well tonight." But in my head I was thinking, "I know."

It was my last game, we were playing in the Friendship Tournament...and the game was close. I made a couple of bad passes, and my coach pulled me out. For the rest of the game another point guard went in, and she did really good. I mean...she dominated. So I'm sitting there...fuming, it's MY last high school game...ever...and this freshman girl is outshining me. The buzzer went off...we still lost...but my team was really excited for this girl. And me? I was upset. Because it was MY game and MY time to shine, and I didn't even get to play in the fourth quarter.

I'm selfish.

I have a lot of clothes. A lot that I don't wear, that just sit. So I decided that I wanted to clean my closet out and take my clothes to Platos Closet to hopefully get some money for them. My roommates asked me if they could rummage through my clothes before I took them and see if they liked anything I was giving away. And I hesitated. For some reason I have a hard time giving away clothes to friends, because I'm afraid I'll see my clothes on them and think, "That's a really cool shirt, I should have kept it...dang it." What a ridiculously selfish way to think. What a RIDICULOUSLY selfish way to think.

I am so so selfish.

Ben and I had a discussion about relationships today, as we frequently do. One thing we talked about was the fact that there is this deep evil that inhabits each one of us. Not many people get to see it in all it's glory...we're pretty good at covering it up. But it's there. And at the core of it...is selfishness.

We are a society that focuses on personal gain, it's more about us and our happiness...than about others and theirs. We are naturally this way.

This is the worst thing that Satan could have done, I think. Because it is COMPLETELY opposite of who God is. In the Bible God is CONSTANTLY asking us to give of ourselves, to be SELFLESS, to LOVE the unlovable. And yet, these are some of the hardest things for us to do. But it's interesting, because we feel better when we do these things.

It's what we were created for.

I want to work on this.

Selflessness, when practiced and not just preached, is the most beautiful thing you'll ever see.