act for yourself

Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself." -Katherine Mansfield

Something amazing happened to me yesterday. I didn't care.

It started out as a normal jog down the country road, but then this song came on... and I started to move. It started small, with some head bobbing and some quick extra fun steps here and there, then something came over me and I just thought, "Let it GO Tara." And so I did. I dance jogged all the way up and down that street. I was liberated. And it felt amazing.

One of my goals this summer is to not let fear dictate my life. If it's new, I want to try it. If it's out of my comfort zone, I'll just make my zone bigger. Life will be lived this summer. You can count on it.

officially published

I know it's been a long time since I posted... and it's probably time for an update. But, it's almost one in the morning and I've got to drive 2 1/2 hours to get to work tomorrow morning. This weekend I went to a Human Trafficking conference (which was awesome) and then drove 2 hours to visit my brother, sister-in-law, and my ADORABLE niece. And when I say adorable, I mean the absolute definition of adorable. Everything that adorable is... that's my niece. She actually IS adorable. Get it?

Anyway, what I did want to say on here (for those of you who don't know yet) is that I actually have had some work I've done published on World Vision's homepage! I get the privilege of rewriting and editing feature stories for their web page and their enewsleeter, and my first two stories got put up on Thursday.

If you would like to read them just go to worldvision.org and there's this little round flash player on the right. Click on the second and third notches and those are my stories. You'll notice that it says "Edited by Tara Becker". That's because we get stories from a database that field workers for World Vision upload their stories on to. Often times english is the writer's second language so it's not in the right order, or the sentence structure is off, etc. So my job is to put the story in a comprehensible order and add some flair and paragraphs here and there. The story is my notes that I get to go off of.

I love it though. I love what I'm doing and I love the people I'm doing it with.

This is going to be a growing summer, I can already feel it.

it's business... but it's absolutely my pleasure.

Today in Goodwill I heard a little girl ask her mom what "justice" meant. After a couple of failed attempts at trying to explain it the mom said, "You know Superman and Wonderwoman? They fight for justice."

I am working in a building FULL of Supermen and Wonderwomen.

And I love it.

newness

I got the itinerary for our first days of orientation at World Vision (Side note: one of the things on the agenda is "Speed-dating Icebreaker"...). This, and reading the discussion board of our intern facebook group, made things hit home.

I'm doing an internship at World Vision this summer. There are 50 interns... all looking for a chance to learn and grow. Newness will be the theme of the summer... and I'm just now realizing it.

I do this.




Emily and I were 30 minutes away from Collegedale, TN when I realized that I had actually transferred from Walla Walla to Southern. Before that moment they had all just been steps. It's time for change so... fill out an application, figure out financial stuff, find somewhere to live, convince Emily to road trip to Southern with me... and then I was there all of a sudden. I was taking classes, meeting TONS of new people, feeling alone in a crowd, and getting my world rocked in a wonderful way. I remember becoming very somber in that last half hour... teary eyed and everything, leaving Emily with the impossible task of trying to make me see the bright sides.

{in the parking lot before the goodbye. we're trying to be happy...but if you look close you'll see that i'm definitely not}

I'm so excited about World Vision, I really am. It's just interesting that I don't realize I'm doing new things until those new things are right in front of me, waving their big flashy "newness" arms. Getting that internship was motivated by theories and steps... It's time for change so...I need an internship, I want to do social justice stuff, I need to turn in a resume, I need to interview, I need to decide, I need a car, I need a place to stay... and so I checked all the requirements off not realizing that I'd actually be DOING this internship. I'm not going to camp this summer, for the first time in five years. Five. Years. Sheesh that's hard to swallow.

But it feels wonderful. It feels wonderful to do new things, to grow and be stretched. It feels wonderful to have a dream and a passion and be going for it. God has done some amazing things in my life by pushing me to do new things. I'm just glad that it takes me a little longer to realize that I'm actually doing this stuff...

{but this is what newness has brought me... and i'm more than okay with that}

on giving

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?
And what is fear of need but need itself?
Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, the thirst that is unquenchable?

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.

-Kahlil Gibran

a little update

I've been home for almost a week now. It's weird being back here, sometimes... if I think too hard about it, or actually when I'm not thinking about it at all. I'm SO comfortable here...but then out of place at the same time. Odd, I know. But, really, it's been awesome. I LOVE these people. Connecting is a wonderful thing. Did you know?

Here are some documented adventures for your viewing pleasure...

our biker gang. don't mess with us. especially kati.

any takers? c'mon ladies...

Bridge jumping...into water. don't be confused.

World Vision starts in a little more than a week. Am I prepared for this? I have no idea...but I'm doin it. I'm doin it with my whole heart. I need to prove some things to myself. Some things about work ethic and strength of will and...those kinds of things.

Oh man, I just got flutteries in my stomach. Adventure time!

zooming

Maps are deceiving.

Kansas isn't pink and you can't see a huge black line when you cross into another state. The ability to cover Texas with your thumb doesn't tell you how big it is. There are people in there. There are roads and fields and mountains. There is garbage, in all sense of the word, when you zoom in. But maps don't tell you that. They look clean and tidy with their over-simplified rainbow colors.

It's an amazing thing to drive across country. You see the state signs, the weird billboards and the wide open fields. You get to meet the people that inhabit that green, tan, or orange state...and then you start to feel how big your country is, and how small you are.

I've been thinking a lot about how to broaden my world and have a better understanding of my place in it. I think zooming in is part of it.