Time to make some memories

List of things to do before school is out:

• Family pictures
• Learn Bollywood dance
• Build a fort in the apartment...and maybe the woods?
• Shoot a spoof intro Friends video...with our friends
• Play basketball
  
• Camp on the biology trails
• Picture swap
• Sarah and I want to pick out our hair and dress up like rock stars
• Experience Waffle House
• Make a cd of songs filled with memories and interviews
  
• Decoupage a collage with everyone's contributions
• Get decked out and go out on the town
• Go to a restaurant and order for each other (secretly)
• Bonfire cookout on the biology trails
• Take more pictures!
• Play glow in the dark football
• Paint raw eggs, hide them, find them, throw them at each other
• Climb a building in downtown Chattanooga!
• Swing dance party
• Rockin farewell to our graduating friends

Some of the things on here have been on our list for a long time...and I've heard whispers of doubt that it's not going to happen. Oh, but it will. I want to pack as many memories into this next month as possible...because it's never going to be like this again...

Scheduling will be starting ASAP. Hope your weekends are open!

Brittany Beat Box Balloons Bomb Birthday Blast

Friends are awesome.
Nick Livanos is an editing genius.
I love you Brittany Graves!

attitude is almost everything

Tonight was pretty rough. I put Debbie Downer, Pessimistic Polly, AND Grumpy Gus all to shame as I moped around and glared in silence as all my friends got excited about our road trip. My disposition was no fault of my friends, it was all me. All the crankiness, irritation, and frustration...it was all a result of my brain making a point to be as pessimistic as possible about the coming trip. I'm not really sure why, or what caused it...but oh man was I determined to not get excited, pondering every couple of minutes how upset everyone would get if I decided not to go. Which is ironic considering my last post shows some pretty strong feelings leaning in the opposite direction.

It's interesting what attitude can do to you. It can shift your world in a matter of minutes and can generally make or break your day, or month, or year, or life.

I wanted to write this down because I want to remember what I felt like before I left on this trip, and I want to look back on my ridiculous mindset that I had tonight with a sense of victory. I'm about to make some epic memories and not regret AT ALL my decision to go on this adventure.

Here's to a 4:30am wake up call.

Bounce Snap 2009!

Break out for Spring!!!

In TWO days I'm starting an epic road trip to here....


Stopping to check out this place...


And this place...


Doing things like this...


With these people....



























....in a van.


Friday please come soooooonnn!!!!

My Cup Floweth Over

One day.

One day to see all the people in Walla Walla that I love.

I've lived here since 7th grade. The list is long....and awesome.

Unlike when I came home at Christmas break, the campus was full. School is in session.

For the first time since I've been at Southern, I thought about what it would be like if I was here. And I wondered if maybe I should have stayed. I know that Southern is where God wants me to be. I KNOW this. But these people...this place...has a piece of my soul. I've gone through so much, and experienced so many things with these friends. To be known so wholly, and still be loved, is a really beautiful thing.

But like I said, yesterday was crazy. It went like this:

• 10am: Coffee at Black Cup with Melissa. That place has changed...but it still smells the same...like coffee and new furniture. I miss it.

• 11am: Dairy Express run with Jess. Hot Cheetos with lime! My favorite! They don't have those back in ol' Tennessee. Long talks in Dorm, lunch in cafeteria. That place still stresses me out. So many lines! How do you choose!?

• 12:30p: Walk down College Avenue, stumbled upon my cousin. She's having a rough go of it...God has really awesome timing. While sitting on the curb a couple friends pulled over to jump out and give love. Walla Walla is still so FULL of people I love!

• 1:30: Quiznos run with Dmack Dizzle. That place smells weird...do all Quiznos smell like that?

• 3:00p: Stop by the ol' high school to see some old teachers, Kim, Schafer, Deming. Nothing has changed... My Spanish teacher tried to talk to me in Spanish again...That conversation never ceases to be short and depressing. The worst part is when he talks really slow in Spanish and says, "Comprendes?" And I stand there trying to think of what maybe the proper response might be..."si?"...he starts again, even slower..."Comprendes?"..."Ah si"...But really, no. Oh Walla Walla Valley Academy...thanks for shaping me.

• 4:00p: Dorm room stop with Alyssa! I was her dean at MBA, she was one of my closest friends there, and probably one of the reasons I stayed sane. It was so awesome to catch up. She's grown so much!

• 5:15p: Kristen Coffeen. Close friends since 8th grade. This quality time was long overdue. Went to her house, sat on her bed, spilled about our lives, our growth, and our passions. She's a kindred spirit...a friend for life. We made fudge too. Oh chocolate, you are so magical.

• 8:00p: Karl comes and gets me. Best friends since freshman year. Sometimes I feel like he knows me better than I know myself. The things I tell him I've learned about myself...he already seems to know. Our relationships has always been really unique, and interesting. He's getting married. So crazy!

• 9:00p: Ryan picks us up to go to the Office party with awesome people I haven't seen forever. Lance Davis broke his thumb...he's got a cast on. I wrote on it "Get a body cast, then I'll be impressed." Today he texted me and said, "Crochet a freaking bed, then I'll be impressed." (Those who haven't met Lance...wait for Mivoden...you'll love him).

• 10:00p: Sharla time! I've been waiting for this all day. This girl soothes my soul. I'm so proud of the woman she's becoming. So beautiful, inside and out. We don't talk a whole lot when we're apart, but it's always the same when we're together. Absolute acceptance, and just so REAL. She graduates this year...I hope she gets out of here...this girl is going to change lives.

• 11:30p: Home. Climbing into bed, exhausted. But FULL.

• 8:00a: Early Coffee with Ryan and awkward store shopping. Oh how much better this coffee date went. Communication is so good!

• Later today I get to go to lunch with Jenny and Amber. Two girls I've had in my cabin for the last 3 years. They are HYSTERICAL and amazing girls. Jenny is probably one of the funniest people I know, and she is 14. Today she took off a whole day from school just to so we could hang out. Good influence? Probably not. But worth it? Heck YES.

Since I've been at Southern it's always been easy for me to disassociate myself from what's happening here at Walla Walla. I always think of it as a sink hole for me, a place that has nothing to offer me anymore. Now I can't believe I didn't realize what I was doing. I mean, I knew that these people were here, and that I missed them...but I don't think it ever hit me what I gave up when I left. These people are graduating...some of us will never be in the same place again...and I left.

Oh God, let these friendships stay whole. Thank you for being wiser and stronger than I could ever be. Thank you for friendships that last through distance and time. May I never take it for granted again.

The Depths

I'm selfish.

When I was in fifth grade stickers became really popular (does anyone else remember that?). We would go to these machines in the stores and buy stickers...and if we had cool ones...we would trade them. Sometimes, if our stickers were lame, we would trade 3 lame ones for 1 semi cool one. And if we were really good negotiators...you might actually get a cool one for 3 lame ones. I won't go too into depth with the whole trading process, I feel like it might reveal too much about how stupid it was. But I do remember this one especially dramatic incident. You see, I had 4 matching dog and alien heads. Each dog head matched the alien head. And yes, this collection was the envy of all the fifth graders. Everyone wanted this one specific set of alien/dog heads. They were bright tie dye colors...with shimmery blocks that would glisten when you moved it back and forth. I got offered entire sticker collections for those two stickers. I got offered money...and I think one girl actually cried. But I wouldn't cave. Those were MY stickers...and I was going to keep them...and not stick them on ANYTHING.

I'm selfish.

I was the point guard on my varsity basketball team my senior year of high school. I got a lot of playing time...and was fully aware of the fact that my coach counted on me a lot. To be honest, I was pretty proud of myself. But of course I was really humble whenever anyone would say anything. I would say things like, "Well it's a team effort, I couldn't win by myself" or "Aw thanks, did you see Krystal's shot though? She did really well tonight." But in my head I was thinking, "I know."

It was my last game, we were playing in the Friendship Tournament...and the game was close. I made a couple of bad passes, and my coach pulled me out. For the rest of the game another point guard went in, and she did really good. I mean...she dominated. So I'm sitting there...fuming, it's MY last high school game...ever...and this freshman girl is outshining me. The buzzer went off...we still lost...but my team was really excited for this girl. And me? I was upset. Because it was MY game and MY time to shine, and I didn't even get to play in the fourth quarter.

I'm selfish.

I have a lot of clothes. A lot that I don't wear, that just sit. So I decided that I wanted to clean my closet out and take my clothes to Platos Closet to hopefully get some money for them. My roommates asked me if they could rummage through my clothes before I took them and see if they liked anything I was giving away. And I hesitated. For some reason I have a hard time giving away clothes to friends, because I'm afraid I'll see my clothes on them and think, "That's a really cool shirt, I should have kept it...dang it." What a ridiculously selfish way to think. What a RIDICULOUSLY selfish way to think.

I am so so selfish.

Ben and I had a discussion about relationships today, as we frequently do. One thing we talked about was the fact that there is this deep evil that inhabits each one of us. Not many people get to see it in all it's glory...we're pretty good at covering it up. But it's there. And at the core of it...is selfishness.

We are a society that focuses on personal gain, it's more about us and our happiness...than about others and theirs. We are naturally this way.

This is the worst thing that Satan could have done, I think. Because it is COMPLETELY opposite of who God is. In the Bible God is CONSTANTLY asking us to give of ourselves, to be SELFLESS, to LOVE the unlovable. And yet, these are some of the hardest things for us to do. But it's interesting, because we feel better when we do these things.

It's what we were created for.

I want to work on this.

Selflessness, when practiced and not just preached, is the most beautiful thing you'll ever see.

Talk

There's a lot of depth here at Southern. I was just thinking about a couple of conversations I've had this week that have been really good. Most of them have been with adults who have already walked the same road that I'm walking, and asked the same questions. Growing is good...discussion is awesome. Here are some thoughts brought up so far this week...

• When you're raising your kids...how strict is too strict? You don't want to shelter them, but you want to protect them from the corruption of this world...so where's the balance? Mr. Verrill says that, when you become a parent, sometimes you realize that the ideals you had for raising your children don't seem as relevant, and you end up changing a lot of the way you thought you would do it. That's probably true...I feel like right now I have a lot of things that I KNOW I'm not going to let my kids do, like have a cell phone before they're 16, own an ipod before they're...older, have a television, have a myspace. But, most likely, when I have my kids... some of these things won't seem as important to me and I'll choose to fight the bigger battles. Like drugs, and sex, and sabbath.

• I had a conversation with Joylynn and Mr. Hamilton today about the state of our church. Why is it that most Christians seem so much more on fire for God than Seventh-day Adventists do? Especially the youth. Why are we so reluctant to talk freely about our God. If God is literally the reason that we are living...why don't we share that...with everyone...anyone...someone? What happens when a Seventh-day Adventist parent would rather send their child to a Christian school than a SDA school because their child learns more about what it means to be a child of God when they attend that school. When they come home saying, " I didn't know that Christianity could be so amazing. The people their know God, and live it."

• I'm taking a class titled Money, Sex, and Power. I know. Awesome. Today Leatherman said that people don't choose futility deliberately...but because of the choices that we make, we get ourselves into futile situations. He gave an example of an invention that he called "The Leathermanizer". This is a really expensive electronic device that sucks up 20 hours of your time, it costs about $200, and then about $10 every month, and uses a lot of electricity...or something like that. But, it doesn't do anything. It doesn't benefit you in any way. So he asked our class, "Would you buy it?". We, of course, said no...because it would be futile, there's no use for it. Then he said, "How many of you have a TV in your house?" Oh snap! We get pulled into these situations, these addictions that seem, at first, like they will be fruitful, like they'll mean something...but they just end up being futile attempts to gain happiness. Money, Sex, Power. All futile attempts to gain something that God offers freely. This class...is going to be awesome.

• Sarah Hayhoe is a wise woman. I adore her. Last night we were up until about 2:30am...just talking. It's like a sleepover...every night. I did a lot of the talking, I had a lot of things to unload, to sort out. And she listened, for about an hour...just listened, and loved. Something that I desperately needed. It's experiences like that that remind me how beautiful friendship is. How we are made for relationships. We are made in God's image, and therefore thirst for community. We are lucky here at Southern my friends.

• Another great point that was brought to my attention this week was the fact that the men that Jesus' chose to be his closest companions, the men that He chose to carry on His message...they all had one really essential thing in common...passion. They were all passionate men...and when they channeled that into something that they really believed in, they sprang to life...and made things happen. I want that, I want passion...channeled passion.

God is doing some amazing things here. I am so blessed to be a part of it.