my gut

I woke up this morning knowing that this was going to be a stressful day. I hate that. I hate knowing it. If it comes up quickly...fine, I'll take you on stress. But don't just sit on the edge of my bed and greet me in the morning. You'll make me grumpy.

Need to know for this blog to make sense:

I applied for three internships for the summer. These internships were for...

-Shared Hope International (an anti-trafficking non-profit organization in Washington DC. Unpaid)

- National Coalition (an anti-trafficking non-profit organization in Cincinnati, OH. Paid.)

-World Vision ( in the communication's department working with PR stuff. Unpaid)

Lots of things happened in between application submission and now...but I won't take you through the roller coaster of events. I've already gotten off the ride and am going down to look at my picture on that screen near the exit... I've got my hands in the air and a really unflattering look on my face (why is it impossible for people to look good at the very second they're going by that dang camera?). What I'm saying is, what's done is done. I cemented my plans for the summer today.

Last week Shared Hope offered me an internship with them. YES! This is exciting! But then World Vision was still really interested in me...and I'd been asked if I wanted to interview for a different position at World Vision. One that does feature writing for the web page. Writing stories about real things, with real people.

And that's what today came down to. Shared Hope asked for an answer by 5pm...and so I bumped up my interview with World Vision from Friday to today at 1pm. Meaning that, if World Vision offered me the internship I would have to make a decision in 3 hours.

Before I went into the interview I was pretty set on Shared Hope. I thought that the internship with World Vision would have to be pretty tempting to get me to sway.

Well, the interview was awesome. Ok. Swayed. And at the end of the interview she offered me the position. I told her I'd let her know tomorrow. And then...the countdown began. A big decision was going to have to be made ASAP. Stress mounted. My eyes got a little watery at one point. Some deep breaths were required. Friends and family emptied their pockets with cents. And some talking with Jesus was necessary.

What's best? Where is God leading me? Do I choose to do something that is so centered in something that I'm passionate about? Or do I go with an internship that would teach me tangible skills, with a world renowned organization that's doing things I believe in, and family and friends all around?

"What does your gut tell you Tara?" people said.

I sent in an email declining the Shared Hope internship at 4:58 today.

I'm going to World Vision.