I haven't verbalized it to anyone yet... even though I have friends here, sitting in the same room. I want to hold it close for a little bit longer--take time to look closely at the disappointment, turn it over in my mind--then put it on the shelf. For good.
I am having a "chat" with the hiring manager for World Vision tomorrow. It looks promising.
The phrase "Let go and let God" has come to mind several times during this process. I've never said it out loud because it sounds too contrived--too cliche. But you should know that from now on, that's exactly what I'm planning to do.
I am so very very sorry you're not going to India. Truly. At the same time, I want you to come to Washington. So. Bad.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Tara. I will sit here with you in this moment of silence. Should I get up and get you a drink? Ice?
ReplyDeletemmm, I'm sorry too. Even though its cliche I like the let go and let God thing because it almost rhymes and because it doesn't really try to explain too much
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Tara, I know how bad you wanted to go. Is now a bad time to get excited for you that you might be closer to your niece?
ReplyDeleteI'm right here. If you want to get about it, sad about it, over it, or into it. I am your friend.
ReplyDeleteFor reasons selfish and unselfish, I'm sorry India isn't working out...but this is what you prayed for, right?
ReplyDeleteI guess I'll have to prepare myself now for not being in the same room with when you reveal major news over the internet. But maybe skyping will be easier when you're just a few hours away.
I love you, friend - wherever you go next, you are going to learn and grow and find joy.
it is SO good to have dreams and desires when we can hold those dreams with a lighter grasp than we hold the hand of God. and that, TaraB, seems to be exactly what you're doing.
ReplyDeletecourage to you for the journey ahead! there's wonder and adventure calling!
Oh, Tara, you are going to do BIG things for God..In India or not...I have to tell myself that everyday...
ReplyDeleteCoffee. Soon. My treat.
ReplyDeleteI want to hear your heart.
Ah, Tara. Shucks! You're right about letting go and letting God. But don't give up. There's going to be more chances and opportunities. God doesn't let any experience go to waste. I love you Tara! And am praying that you will find peace in His direction. Lets talk soon too!
ReplyDelete