mind over matter.

Every morning I come to my cubicle, start my computer, grab my licorice tea, and head for the coffee station. I refuse to get addicted to coffee in this job--but MAN I can see how people do. On those mornings when you really didn't want to wake up, and you really didn't want to take a shower, and you really didn't want to drive in to work, you just gotta have something that says "Yes, I can move forward with this day." So, that's what my tea does. And I've recently noticed that each tea bag comes with a nice little saying on its tag. Today it tells me that "I am beautiful, I am bountiful, I am blissful." I'm not exactly sure what it feels like to be bountiful, but apparently I am that, today.

My favorite phrase, thus far, was one that gave me a nice little nugget to reflect on for the day. It said, "May your mind learn to love with compassion." May your MIND learn to love...

I'm not good at that. My MIND isn't good at that. From where I'm standing in my own shoes, YOUR shoes don't look battered enough to pardon you from your behavior, actions or short comings. But then I look down and realize that my shoe laces are untied and they smell like I have been running in them for years with no socks (ahem, emily), and I STILL have no excuse. My point is, I'm not good at being compassionate when I think that people know better or should be DOING better--and that's just not the right way to look at things. I get MIND compassion every day from Jessi, and my boss, and my coworkers, and my friends that I don't communicate with, and the people that I am SO BLUNT to--and so why shouldn't I be giving my compassion away more freely?

"May your MIND learn to love with compassion."

Why thank you, Yogi tea, I appreciate the encouragement. I hope it does too.

i just want to start documenting more

I went to Yakima to visit my family after work on Friday. It was a short trip--less than 24 hours--but so needed. My niece is growing up so fast. Her hands are bigger and she jabbers all the time. Instead of "auntie" I am "daudie" and instead of "yeehaw!" she yells "hawyee!". And I love it.

You know what's beautiful about children? They make people smile a lot. There were times when we'd just sit and watch her dance around and laugh at herself--and we'd all just be smiling from ear to ear. We need that, you know. Life is hard and heavy and full of the unexpected (which should be expected by now, I suppose) and sometimes we just freaking need to smile and love the face of innocence.

I got pulled over on my way out of Yakima yesterday. I saw the lights as I hung up my phone. Busted. I have always joked that I'd believe that the "no cell phones while driving law" is a law when I actually got pulled over for it--well, turns out it's actually a law. The nice man told me that I was going 15 over and, did I know that I can't talk on the phone while driving? Yes, yes I did [insert lots of humility and apologizing]. After taking my information he came back and told me that my driving record was good and that he wasn't going to mess it up today, and then proceeded to give me a nice fatherly warning about the wrongs I had done and why I should no longer do them.

I drove away feeling overwhelmed with the grace. It's funny because it really did affect me. I was just so grateful. And you know what? I had been planning on catching up with friends the whole 2 hour drive home, but I didn't at all because, well, he had told me not to. I'm not sure what I would have done if he had given me a ticket. I might have actually talked on the phone, as funny as that sounds.

I've been pulled over 5 times in my life and only gotten a ticket once. I was in Oregon. Stupid Oregon. But don't worry, I got mine. Last night I got a parking ticket from a really grumpy woman who wouldn't just let me move my car. "You can move your car after I give you a ticket," she said as she began writing. She was pretty pissed--about life in general, I think. But, it's ok, I knew what I was doing when I parked--and sometimes you learn lessons the suckier way. And now I am $42 wiser.

do you remember?

i love the stage these pictures are in. they're in the phase where the memories aren't too distant--but they're distant enough to make you have to dig back in your piggy bank of fond memories and get all warm and nostalgic. the beauty is that we're still in it--in it to win it--and we've picked up more passengers along the way.

sheeeew. friendships are a blessed thing.

our FIRST saturday night in D8.

the story of what schnell and i thought of each other at this point is pretty funny.

look how pretty ben is!

you think chris is creative with sleeping positions in the apartment?

try a road trip in a van.

i don't think this picture even needs a caption.

Anthony would grace us with his wonderful presence every once in awhile.

he was the "lava" instigator. it was awesome.

this one's for me

"An elevated mood can only come out of an elevated habit of personal character. If in the externals of your life you live up to the highest you know, God will continually say--"Friend, go up higher." The golden rule in temptation is--Go higher."

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

a smattering, if you will

Today, we win.

Jessi and I turned in our applications for an apartment last week and TODAY I got a call telling us that we got it!! This was a cause for joyous dancing in my cube and high fives all around. Oh man, we are READY to start this grownup thing. Living with the Blasers has been a huge blessing and we LOVE them, but it's time for us to have our own space and start to feel like we're making our own way. And, just in case you were curious, we will be making our own way in a pretty sweet location. Our apartment is a walk away from the marina, the grocery store, the library, a hole in the wall thai place and 3 retirement homes (Jessi and I are going to scope out the Bingo playing options). Now, here's the downside--a side that Jessi and I have decided to view optimistically, but others seem to think we're crazy--apparently our apartment has a 20% approval rating (we saw this AFTER we turned in our applications). And I'm almost certain that that 20% came from the managers writing nice things about the apartment with an alias name. BUT, as Jessi's boss pointed out, nobody goes on those websites to write nice things--they only go on there if they want to complain. Now, don't freak out, but I will tell you that the words "black mold" and "sucky management" were used quite a bit. But, mold schmold, you know what I'm sayin? This apartment has been renovated and is the biggest, nicest, cheapest, best locationest place we found. So there, respiratory system. Take that.

So I think we're going to be moving in next weekend. The parents will come and help us get situated. My dad has vowed to buy me a nice silverware set--he's very concerned about it. "You can't have forks that bend," he says. I love him.

Work was good today. I am getting it and being helpful and being encouraged and that equals a pretty dang good day. Man, working life is interesting. I have thoughts on that but I'll reserve them for when I'm in a more melancholy mood. But right now I want to tell you that what Jessi and I have on the docket for tonight is to make grilled cheese sandwiches and watch West Wing and then go to bed early. Doesn't that sound lovely?

Jessi and I are real funny together, I'd say. We are basically married. We pack our lunch together for work--we actually eat all our meals together, now that I think about it. We share a room, a closet, a car, a bed, the building we work in, our hearts, our worries, our support and lots of laughs. People have warned us that we need to be careful--friendships are ruined this way. We know this. And we're not under any illusion that it's going to be great all the time--but we're communicators and we're dedicated to loving one another and maintaining this beautiful friendship we've built--so don't you worry.

Last weekend we babysat my boss's kids so he and his wife could have a date night. They were so precious. So, so precious. Ah! Kids! They make my heart so happy!

Friends, today life is good--and, man, it feels good to say that.

close to distance

Surprise us with love at daybreak;
then we'll skip and dance all the day long.
Make up for the bad times with some good times;
we've seen enough evil to last a lifetime.
Let your servants see what you're best at—
the ways you rule and bless your children.
And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,
confirming the work that we do.
Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!

Psalm 14-17 MSG

shopping for steeples

Jessi and I have been "church shopping" for the past three weeks. Today we went to the Puyallup SDA church. We had heard whisperings of a thriving Adventist young adult group. So that's where they all are! So we went and made jokes about meeting our future husbands and friends--we made fun of that thought while meticulously putting on our makeup.

When we got there the greeters did their greeter thing, and it eventually came out that we were church shopping and visitors. Oooh man did they like that! We instantly were given a little form to fill out and one of them darted off to find Mr. Young Adult. Mr. Young Adult's name is Brian, and he seems nice, but unique. They invited us to lunch AND to games tonight. We weaseled from the commitment--graciously, mind you. Commitment in new places is scary. We're not sure if we're ready for that yet.

Jessi and I decided that it's like dating. Lunch and games is dinner... we need coffee. Coffee has a built in exit strategy, a safety net, if you will. So we have a coffee date next Friday night (maybe). They have a Bible study at Brian's house every Friday evening. This is what we've decided to attend. So, we shall see. Maybe this is the place God is nudging us, maybe not. We both really want to become part of a church family. A place where people notice if you're missing and families invite you over for lunch and you get to play with their adorable little kids.

[sigh]

That sounds really nice.

On another note, today happened to be Pathfinder church. Jessi and I stifled giggles pretty much throughout the whole thing. It was epically awkward and contrived and cute. We even got to sing to a soundtrack once while the guitar player sang off key. At one point Jessi reached over and grabbed my arm because it was so awkward. It was wonderful.