here's the thing about research papers... i don't want to DO them.

does it get any better than this? i submit that it does not.

here we go.

Some recent adventures among the end of semester chaos...


We went to an Ingrid Michaelson concert (which was amazing).



My car broke down on the way (which was not so amazing).




After the concert was over "no teeth" Ben, a nice little man, towed my car back to Collegedale late in the night. Thanks to Elisa and her AAA goodness it was free of charge. And what is an adventure without some awkward encounters? We're supposed to send this picture to his wife.


We slept on Ben's dock on his pond. There are no good pictures of this adventure...for a couple of different reasons. But here's what we got...

(isn't this one pretty?)

Ok. Now it's back to the research papers, book reports, presentations, and internship interview preparations. Too fast. This semester is going by too fast.

lifers

Dear anti-friendship forces,
You've got nothin' on us. Your distance barriers are flimsy, and you underestimate our resilience to your "over time" theory. We're lifers. Get it? Different schools, different countries, different goals, different paths... they don't phase us. We be flyin'.

this is what i like to call karma

"it's too hard"
"you're making it that way"
"well YOU (pointed finger) aren't really helping any."
"oh, i'm not am i? how do you know?"
"you just sit there, watching me, silent."
"i'd love to respond if you have any questions, but you have yet to ask any. in fact, we've barely even talked about this at all lately."
"well i guess i just assumed that you were going to fix it, and i didn't have to say anything."

"hello?"

i'll need a bulldozer for that road, please.

"The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created--created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating."
-Unknown

I applied for two anti-trafficking summer internships today. Today was the deadline. And man it was stressful trying to get everything just right and checking off all the things they were asking for...all before five o' clock.

But I loved it, absolutely loved it. I kept telling myself, "This is hard because you're doing something worth while...if you want it, you've got to work for it."

There is a part of me (a small part, mind you) that doesn't so much care if I get one of these or not...it's just the knowledge that I tried, that I DID something.

My heart feels fluttery. I'm painting my future, and I love it.

i hope i don't let me down.

Dear future,

You captivate me.

Sometimes when I think of you I get giggly, and my mouth starts to hurt from excited smiling. I dance and laugh and sing at the top of my lungs, because the you allow me to DREAM. But it's so strange because there are other times when the thought of you makes me shrink and cower and put my hands in fists, refusing to move until you explain yourself.

Why do you shine bright sometimes, and then shroud yourself in darkness? Do you think this is a game? You are illusive to me...which makes you exciting, but also frustrating at the same time. Every day I get to know you better, only to find that you've slipped past me and are now ahead of me once again. Maybe you don't realize that, if I knew you better, I might do things differently. You are making me look silly, dear future. You make me say things like, "In retrospect" and "If I had only known..." and "He could be the one."

Maybe you got the short end of this "life stick." The past is lucky, because everybody knows him, and he gets to be studied and learned from. The present is blessed because, well, he gets to go through all of it with us, and gets the most attention. But you, dear future, are never known...and therefore never understood.

People say that you are untold. Which makes you mysterious, I suppose. Maybe when I get older I'll be more comfortable with you. Maybe you won't make me so wary. But then, maybe you won't be so exciting to me...and I won't question you anymore. Oh dear...what if you become boring to me?

Ok future, let's make a deal. You keep being illusive...and I'll keep dreaming you into what I want you to be. I know you've got some curve balls in there, but don't worry, I've got past and present to see me through. You just keep doin your thing, and I'll keep doin mine, dear future. But just know that I will always be thinking of you...no matter how much I try not to.

So here's to your brightness...I hope you don't let me down.


With all that I am,

Tara