i hope i don't let me down.

Dear future,

You captivate me.

Sometimes when I think of you I get giggly, and my mouth starts to hurt from excited smiling. I dance and laugh and sing at the top of my lungs, because the you allow me to DREAM. But it's so strange because there are other times when the thought of you makes me shrink and cower and put my hands in fists, refusing to move until you explain yourself.

Why do you shine bright sometimes, and then shroud yourself in darkness? Do you think this is a game? You are illusive to me...which makes you exciting, but also frustrating at the same time. Every day I get to know you better, only to find that you've slipped past me and are now ahead of me once again. Maybe you don't realize that, if I knew you better, I might do things differently. You are making me look silly, dear future. You make me say things like, "In retrospect" and "If I had only known..." and "He could be the one."

Maybe you got the short end of this "life stick." The past is lucky, because everybody knows him, and he gets to be studied and learned from. The present is blessed because, well, he gets to go through all of it with us, and gets the most attention. But you, dear future, are never known...and therefore never understood.

People say that you are untold. Which makes you mysterious, I suppose. Maybe when I get older I'll be more comfortable with you. Maybe you won't make me so wary. But then, maybe you won't be so exciting to me...and I won't question you anymore. Oh dear...what if you become boring to me?

Ok future, let's make a deal. You keep being illusive...and I'll keep dreaming you into what I want you to be. I know you've got some curve balls in there, but don't worry, I've got past and present to see me through. You just keep doin your thing, and I'll keep doin mine, dear future. But just know that I will always be thinking of you...no matter how much I try not to.

So here's to your brightness...I hope you don't let me down.


With all that I am,

Tara