higher

I drove from Yakima to Seattle today. The sun wasn't ready to do its job yet, so the fog was extending its stay, morphing me into a melancholy mood. I sat in silence for a lot of the time, thinking my thoughts--letting them crash into each other and take their turns--dealing with each one as it came. A few were more persistent than the others, demanding more of my attention. These ones put on quite the production, with props, different characters and alternate endings. I don't like alternate endings. Just let it be what it is.

The drive is beautiful, though. A snowy mountain pass equals awed eyes and lifted spirits. At one point I was drivin' too high for the fog to touch me--I could see it down there in the valleys--merking up people's vision. But up HERE I could see clearly. I was moving forward with clarity and purpose and EXCITEMENT--and when you get that high a car is too constricting. You just HAVE to roll down the window, SHOVE your whole arm out and SING at the top of your lungs. "...This is the sun, these are your lungs. This is the day you were born..." (good ol' Switchfoot has been stuck in my head for at least 3 weeks now).

I have my final interview with World Vision in about an hour. I don't feel nervous, surprisingly. I feel...what do I feel?... I feel anxious? Is that the same as nervous? Maybe. Maybe I'm just masking it under a different name because I want to seem tough and in control. Some cards I hold tight to my chest, only letting MYSELF peak every once in awhile. The hard thing is when you have friends that know you're bluffing.

Well, whatever happens, it's ok. There are plans in place. I know it. God has worked too hard to get me where I am to just abandon me now. Good thing, huh?