I climbed in bed at 8pm tonight. I wanted to read and I wanted to sleep--and bed seemed like the most logical place to do those things. Lights were out at 9, texts came in at 9:30 and 10:45, and eyes flew open at 11:30. Well this isn't happening--blog writing it is.
I got a job with World Vision yesterday. I guess I've been working towards this for 18 years now--so it's nice that this whole education thing actually works. People have asked me if I'm excited, and you know what, I am--mostly. But exclamation points quickly turned into question marks as I realized that I don't have a car, and I don't have a place to live, and I start work in 11 days. I don't mean to sound like I'm not grateful. I'm totally grateful. I love that I have a job with an organization I BELIEVE in. I love that it's in a beautiful area and that I'm just a few hours from friends and family. I love that I'm going to be an adult now. A real live one with a budget and work clothes and a stool that I'll prop my feet on when I get home. I get to say things like, "Let's get dinner after work" and "I have a meeting at 10, but after that I'm free." (I'm going to be honest and say that there are parts of this concept that do NOT excite me. For obvious reasons--at least I think they're obvious).
When I was visiting Seattle this past weekend I would try to picture myself there--going to church, picking out favorite restaurants, planning exercise routes. I wondered who my close friends might be and how I would spend my time (Jessi, you were very present in all these thoughts). There are parts about moving there that scare me, honestly. The community base is small and Adventist community--smaller. But I have dreams--DREAMS of how I want it to be and who I want to come out as. I'm so aware that this will be a shaping year, and I just hope that I shape right.
Sheeeeeew. God, help me shape right.
sole tree
moving is scaaaary! but you can do it. and you'll have friends nearby, which will be a plus.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya sister, you've got this!
ReplyDeleteyou can shack up with friends and carpool to work if you have to at first. you've got good friends. even us far away ones.
ReplyDeleteTara! I am so very excited for you. You are getting to do things you only dreamt about until now. AMEN!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! What are you going to do at World Vision?...hmmm, I guess blogging isn't a place to ask to many questions so I'll just call sometime. I am happy for you,...World Vision just made the hire of a century.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Tara! And maybe not knowing where you're going to lay your head can be a good lesson in living like Jesus ;) Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man had nowhere to lay His head... And pleeeeeeaase, enjoy the Emerald City!
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited!
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