beyond reason

I learned some ugly things about my family's past today. The kind of crap that makes you realize how broken people are, and how we are the ones doing it to each other.

This stuff happened years and years ago (WAY before I was born), but lives are still being altered by the mistakes. And as I sat there listening to this mess of brokenness, I thought to myself,

Man, this place sucks.

And just when you think it can't possibly suck any more there's another divorce, another broken heart, another person dying of cancer, another rape victim, another suicide--another, another, another. And it makes me want to curl into a ball, and it makes me want to scream, and it makes me want to close off whatever valve it is that is pouring empathy into my veins.

But here's the thought that has been creeping into my consciousness as the day has gone on--the thought I will choose to focus on as I get into my over-packed car and move to Seattle tomorrow:

There is still love happening. Still!

In this mess of broken trust, broken hearts and broken people there's still this magical thing going on--this thing deep in our gut that tells us that hugging someone with tears streaming down their face is the right thing to do, that combining resources to furnish a poor family's entire apartment is worth it, and that taking hours to listen to someone else's woes--when you have your own junk to deal with--is a natural response.

And I love this. I love that among all this wretched, complicated mess, people are still smiling at each other and holding doors open and giving back wallets.

You know what? The more I think about it the more I think it's a miracle. The fact that there is any trace of love in the world at all is an absolute miracle. And that, my friends, is something that I would like to thank GOD for. Yes. This has God written all over it.