Sunday, December 30, 2012

Sundays with Tara

Have you found someone to share your heart with?
Are you giving to your community?
Are you at peace with yourself?
Are you trying to be as human as you can be?

Morrie, from Tuesdays with Morrie, says these are the questions we should be asking ourselves and living into. I've been reading this book over break, letting the wisdom of a dying man breath life into my crackly soul.

[Are you at peace with yourself?]

I was sitting with a group of recent graduates at work during lunch the other day, many of them the same ones I interned with at World Vision that wistful summer in 2010. That summer we'd take over an entire table during lunch, talking excitedly about the things we were learning and how we wanted to change the world some day. We were loud and slightly obnoxious, I'm sure, but we were going places, and you don't look around when you know where you're going.

[Are you giving to your community?]

Now, two years later, we sit at that same table, lost in our own thoughts. We have different stories, but the tune is the same. Life got a little more complicated, loans got a little more stressful, politics got in the way, and the "real world" our parents told us about isn't as dreamy as we wanted it to be. Reflecting on this I leaned forward and said to my kindred friends, "Guys, remember when we were all excited about our futures?" We all laughed, but none of us thought it was funny.

[Are you trying to be as human as you can be?]

I am too dang young to think this way - and I know you're thinking that too. I hear you, this is why I've been concerned. But there's been something in this book...and those questions...that's helping me shift my idea of what a full life looks like.

[Have you found someone to share your heart with?]

Before I graduated I really thought I was going to change the world - like, a big freaking chunk of it. I'm smart, compassionate, and charming, why wouldn't the doors fling wide open for my world-changing pleasure? Big dreams are good, I'm not saying they aren't. I love dreaming and I love people who turn them into reality, but I think my big dreams paralyzed me. If I wasn't extraordinary, if I wasn't different, special, or ground-breaking, I was failing. And when you're failing, your reach gets smaller.

So here's the place I'm coming to, here's what I'm driving at - I think a simple life, a life where you take care of the world around you (and inside of you), is a beautiful life indeed. I look at those questions Morrie asked and drove towards his whole life, and I think - Man, that just feels right. It feels right to be able to answer "yes" to those questions and live a full life.

Here's the thing, people won't write books about me when I die and I might not be the president of an anti-trafficking organization some day, but I want to love the hell out of my little world and serve in a way that makes God proud.

I will give to my community.
I will be at peace with myself.
I will strive for transparency in humanness.
I will keep my heart wide open.