Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Aaaand.... BREAK!

Things to look forward to for Thanksgiving break 2010:

  • SLEEP.
  • ROAD TRIP to Florida!
  • Spending Thanksgiving with Nick and his family (I love meeting my friend's families!)
  • Seeing "central" Florida (apparently me going to Kulaqua doesn't quite count as experiencing Florida. Whatever.)
  • Going to Orlando for the weekend to meet/hang out with Melissa's family (I love meeting my friend's families!)
  • Having game night Saturday night with old friends like Eric and Leslie Woodard, Ryan and Monica Yeo and other Florida homies.
  • Maybe going to Busch Gardens?
  • Maybe watching 127 hours? (I'm a little scared to watch this movie... my tummy and heart don't do good with sawed off appendages)
  • Having time to regroup before the whirlwind two weeks that lead to graduation (more on my thoughts about that later)
  • A whole day set aside to think about how lucky we are for what we have.

But first things first... NAP.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Brad, this has more than two paragraphs

[This post has nothing to do with this picture. But sometime
I should tell you about this adventure... and how much I
love my friends here.]

I woke up this morning with the taste of toothpaste still lingering. That's never a good sign. It means that the time between when you brushed your teeth and went to bed and then woke up again wasn't long enough for morning breath to do its damage.

I was up till 4am working on a draft for a 15-20 page paper. It was midnight... and I had 2 pages. Guys, I have senioritus. Full on with procrastination cough and a fever of varying I-don't-want-to-care-anymore degrees. But I must care, because I'm inherently too good of a student to not. So I'm caught in this weird stressful phase of not wanting to care and caring at the same time.

I graduate in four weeks and two days. There are lots of things to do between now and then. Just little things, ya know, like figuring out my FUTURE.

Today was the day I was supposed to hear about India. I've been mentally ticking the days away, excited to actually have a date when I would know the direction my life might be taking. But, I should have known. They told me this morning that Jim isn't coming into the office until Wednesday, and I still may not have an answer by then because there's more to discuss with Asian Aid, Australia. I know there are lots of details that need to be worked out with these kinds of things, so I understand. I think I'm just disappointed and starting to be pretty pessimistic about the outcome. They're probably not going to send me. This was too good to be true. These are the kinds of thoughts that have been running through my head. And you know what? If they don't... it wasn't meant to be. But, oh man, it really seems like it's meant to be.

I just feel like I need this. I need to get out of here. I need something to break me, because I'm so whole (complacent) right now that I'm just barely being stretched. I need a change of scenery, a drastic one. At least that's what I think I need. God tends to have different thoughts on that from time to time. So it's still a waiting game. Wednesday? Next week? Who knows...

BUT He's gonna work it out. He always does. Don't worry, I didn't forget.

Monday, November 8, 2010

fight apathy.

We played our championship football game tonight. Last year we won. This year, we lost. I almost teared up on the sidelines when that dang girl ran the second touchdown in. Isn't that ridiculous? I'm competitive, I guess. But I didn't know I was that competitive.

It's taken me a good two hours to wind down from being upset about the game. And my chest still feels a little unrest. When Amanda drove me home from the game and when we got home I kept saying, "Man I'm upset. How do I make this go away?"

I got an email from my brother tonight telling me that my step-grandpa died. We weren't super close. He married my grandma when I was in high school and I didn't see them much. But still, one of my family members died today and this is only the second time I've thought about it.

There are bigger things happening tonight, Tara. The average age of a girl entering prostitution is 12-years-old. 12. years. old. While I've been typing this one of those 12-year-olds probably had her first customer. And I'm upset about a football game. Look at the big picture, Tara. Stop being so ridiculous.

Hey, the tightness in my chest has lifted. Crap. The tightness in my chest has lifted.