Friday, September 24, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
She tucked a strand of gray hair behind her ear as she dipped her brush in the paint. Her hand trembled as she put brush to canvas. She’d gotten used to the trembling, embraced it, even. She liked to think that her body was so excited to still be alive that it couldn’t contain itself on the inside any longer.
She loved to create. Beauty from the heart was the only way she measured her paintings. In her 91 years she’d honed this skill… the skill to see beauty, the skill to place things exactly where they deserved. Names didn’t matter, class didn’t either, it was just… a matter of perspective.
She finished the painting and took a step back. She smiled, her wrinkles taking their familiar places after years of laughing. At first glance this painting was… not breath taking. It didn’t look like the edges were finished and if you didn’t look hard enough the colors didn’t seem to mix. But oh, the depth.
Other friends, knowing her love for art, had bought famous paintings for her. Some were originals, some were copies... but all were highly sought after pieces, by the world’s standards. She picked up the painting and slowly walked over to the wall. With trembling hands she lifted it up and placed it among the others. She made sure that the painting wasn’t above and wasn’t below the one next to it. It was equal. It was just as good. “You deserve to be here,” she told the painting, patting it for reassurance.
Then, with a twinkle in her eye, she turned and slowly walked away.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
How could he not see what he was doing? He was ruining it. He was ruining the beauty and the joy. People were dying because of him. He was making people cry. Didn't he feel bad? And so I tried to reason with him. I was sure that I could change Satan's mind... if he would just hear me out.
One day I told my mom what I had been doing. Her eyes got really big and she immediately told me to stop talking to Satan.
I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with God lately. The way it works for other people doesn't seem to work for me, I've decided. God and I don't jive with a 6am wake up call, a read through the bible, and a journal entry. We're not connecting through long silent prayers... cause I can't talk in my brain and not get distracted. It's just not gonna happen. I'm sure God isn't stoked when I'm talking with Him and He suddenly gets cut off because I'm trying to remember if I put my laundry in the dryer.
I have had a lot of conversations with great friends about the complexity of God... and just how BIG He is. And if God is so big... there have got to be more ways to do this.
Real. Authentic. Genuine. Raw. Natural.
These are words that I want to define my search. Actually now that I look at them... these are words that I want to define me.