How could he not see what he was doing? He was ruining it. He was ruining the beauty and the joy. People were dying because of him. He was making people cry. Didn't he feel bad? And so I tried to reason with him. I was sure that I could change Satan's mind... if he would just hear me out.
One day I told my mom what I had been doing. Her eyes got really big and she immediately told me to stop talking to Satan.
Yeesh, thanks mom.
-------------
I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with God lately. The way it works for other people doesn't seem to work for me, I've decided. God and I don't jive with a 6am wake up call, a read through the bible, and a journal entry. We're not connecting through long silent prayers... cause I can't talk in my brain and not get distracted. It's just not gonna happen. I'm sure God isn't stoked when I'm talking with Him and He suddenly gets cut off because I'm trying to remember if I put my laundry in the dryer.
-------------
I have had a lot of conversations with great friends about the complexity of God... and just how BIG He is. And if God is so big... there have got to be more ways to do this.
Real. Authentic. Genuine. Raw. Natural.
These are words that I want to define my search. Actually now that I look at them... these are words that I want to define me.
-------------
I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with God lately. The way it works for other people doesn't seem to work for me, I've decided. God and I don't jive with a 6am wake up call, a read through the bible, and a journal entry. We're not connecting through long silent prayers... cause I can't talk in my brain and not get distracted. It's just not gonna happen. I'm sure God isn't stoked when I'm talking with Him and He suddenly gets cut off because I'm trying to remember if I put my laundry in the dryer.
-------------
I have had a lot of conversations with great friends about the complexity of God... and just how BIG He is. And if God is so big... there have got to be more ways to do this.
Real. Authentic. Genuine. Raw. Natural.
These are words that I want to define my search. Actually now that I look at them... these are words that I want to define me.
tara, this is good.
ReplyDeleteI did the same thing. Actually it also included me pleading with God to take him back if Satan would only ask for forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteI also want to define my time with Him the same way.
you know, i think i prayed to God a lot ABOUT satan when i was a kid. a lot of these same thoughts.
ReplyDeletealso, those are good defining words.
also, i'll see you friday.
If I want a good conversation with God, I have to go on a walk and talk to Him out loud.
ReplyDeleteAlso, children are precious. They are the only ones who are sweet and simple enough to want Satan to change and be able to go back to heaven. I used to feel bad about that, too.
If our connection with God is going to be those awesome things you mentioned, authentic and raw etc, then, I agree, it can't be at 6am every day, or at any specific time, becuase it probably can't be scheduled, at least not every time. For me its about remembering to talk to God at the very moment when I am happy or sad, or worried, or angry, or thankful, instead of trying to remember all those moments when it comes time for our scheduled meeting. A lot of times I forget to mention those moments to God at all.
ReplyDeleteoh geez.
ReplyDeleteyou're in my head Tara Becker, IN MY HEAD.
we should have that talk...soon.