Thursday, February 26, 2009

attitude is almost everything

Tonight was pretty rough. I put Debbie Downer, Pessimistic Polly, AND Grumpy Gus all to shame as I moped around and glared in silence as all my friends got excited about our road trip. My disposition was no fault of my friends, it was all me. All the crankiness, irritation, and was all a result of my brain making a point to be as pessimistic as possible about the coming trip. I'm not really sure why, or what caused it...but oh man was I determined to not get excited, pondering every couple of minutes how upset everyone would get if I decided not to go. Which is ironic considering my last post shows some pretty strong feelings leaning in the opposite direction.

It's interesting what attitude can do to you. It can shift your world in a matter of minutes and can generally make or break your day, or month, or year, or life.

I wanted to write this down because I want to remember what I felt like before I left on this trip, and I want to look back on my ridiculous mindset that I had tonight with a sense of victory. I'm about to make some epic memories and not regret AT ALL my decision to go on this adventure.

Here's to a 4:30am wake up call.

Bounce Snap 2009!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Break out for Spring!!!

In TWO days I'm starting an epic road trip to here....

Stopping to check out this place...

And this place...

Doing things like this...

With these people....

 a van.

Friday please come soooooonnn!!!!

Friday, February 13, 2009

My Cup Floweth Over

One day.

One day to see all the people in Walla Walla that I love.

I've lived here since 7th grade. The list is long....and awesome.

Unlike when I came home at Christmas break, the campus was full. School is in session.

For the first time since I've been at Southern, I thought about what it would be like if I was here. And I wondered if maybe I should have stayed. I know that Southern is where God wants me to be. I KNOW this. But these people...this place...has a piece of my soul. I've gone through so much, and experienced so many things with these friends. To be known so wholly, and still be loved, is a really beautiful thing.

But like I said, yesterday was crazy. It went like this:

  • 10am: Coffee at Black Cup with Melissa. That place has changed...but it still smells the coffee and new furniture. I miss it.
  • 11am: Dairy Express run with Jess. Hot Cheetos with lime! My favorite! They don't have those back in ol' Tennessee. Long talks in Dorm, lunch in cafeteria. That place still stresses me out. So many lines! How do you choose!?

  • 12:30p: Walk down College Avenue, stumbled upon my cousin. She's having a rough go of it...God has really awesome timing. While sitting on the curb a couple friends pulled over to jump out and give love. Walla Walla is still so FULL of people I love!

  • 1:30: Quiznos run with Dmack Dizzle. That place smells all Quiznos smell like that?

  • 3:00p: Stop by the ol' high school to see some old teachers, Kim, Schafer, Deming. Nothing has changed... My Spanish teacher tried to talk to me in Spanish again...That conversation never ceases to be short and depressing. The worst part is when he talks really slow in Spanish and says, "Comprendes?" And I stand there trying to think of what maybe the proper response might be..."si?"...he starts again, even slower..."Comprendes?"..."Ah si"...But really, no. Oh Walla Walla Valley Academy...thanks for shaping me.

  • 4:00p: Dorm room stop with Alyssa! I was her dean at MBA, she was one of my closest friends there, and probably one of the reasons I stayed sane. It was so awesome to catch up. She's grown so much!

  • 5:15p: Kristen Coffeen. Close friends since 8th grade. This quality time was long overdue. Went to her house, sat on her bed, spilled about our lives, our growth, and our passions. She's a kindred spirit...a friend for life. We made fudge too. Oh chocolate, you are so magical.

  • 8:00p: Karl comes and gets me. Best friends since freshman year. Sometimes I feel like he knows me better than I know myself. The things I tell him I've learned about myself...he already seems to know. Our relationships has always been really unique, and interesting. He's getting married. So crazy!

  • 9:00p: Ryan picks us up to go to the Office party with awesome people I haven't seen forever. Lance Davis broke his thumb...he's got a cast on. I wrote on it "Get a body cast, then I'll be impressed." Today he texted me and said, "Crochet a freaking bed, then I'll be impressed." (Those who haven't met Lance...wait for'll love him).

  • 10:00p: Sharla time! I've been waiting for this all day. This girl soothes my soul. I'm so proud of the woman she's becoming. So beautiful, inside and out. We don't talk a whole lot when we're apart, but it's always the same when we're together. Absolute acceptance, and just so REAL. She graduates this year...I hope she gets out of here...this girl is going to change lives.

  • 11:30p: Home. Climbing into bed, exhausted. But FULL.
  • 8:00a: Early Coffee with Ryan and awkward store shopping. Oh how much better this coffee date went. Communication is so good!

  • Later today I get to go to lunch with Jenny and Amber. Two girls I've had in my cabin for the last 3 years. They are HYSTERICAL and amazing girls. Jenny is probably one of the funniest people I know, and she is 14. Today she took off a whole day from school just to so we could hang out. Good influence? Probably not. But worth it? Heck YES.

Since I've been at Southern it's always been easy for me to disassociate myself from what's happening here at Walla Walla. I always think of it as a sink hole for me, a place that has nothing to offer me anymore. Now I can't believe I didn't realize what I was doing. I mean, I knew that these people were here, and that I missed them...but I don't think it ever hit me what I gave up when I left. These people are graduating...some of us will never be in the same place again...and I left.

Oh God, let these friendships stay whole. Thank you for being wiser and stronger than I could ever be. Thank you for friendships that last through distance and time. May I never take it for granted again.