Monday, November 15, 2010

Brad, this has more than two paragraphs


[This post has nothing to do with this picture. But sometime
I should tell you about this adventure... and how much I
love my friends here.]



I woke up this morning with the taste of toothpaste still lingering. That's never a good sign. It means that the time between when you brushed your teeth and went to bed and then woke up again wasn't long enough for morning breath to do its damage.

I was up till 4am working on a draft for a 15-20 page paper. It was midnight... and I had 2 pages. Guys, I have senioritus. Full on with procrastination cough and a fever of varying I-don't-want-to-care-anymore degrees. But I must care, because I'm inherently too good of a student to not. So I'm caught in this weird stressful phase of not wanting to care and caring at the same time.

I graduate in four weeks and two days. There are lots of things to do between now and then. Just little things, ya know, like figuring out my FUTURE.

Today was the day I was supposed to hear about India. I've been mentally ticking the days away, excited to actually have a date when I would know the direction my life might be taking. But, I should have known. They told me this morning that Jim isn't coming into the office until Wednesday, and I still may not have an answer by then because there's more to discuss with Asian Aid, Australia. I know there are lots of details that need to be worked out with these kinds of things, so I understand. I think I'm just disappointed and starting to be pretty pessimistic about the outcome. They're probably not going to send me. This was too good to be true. These are the kinds of thoughts that have been running through my head. And you know what? If they don't... it wasn't meant to be. But, oh man, it really seems like it's meant to be.

I just feel like I need this. I need to get out of here. I need something to break me, because I'm so whole (complacent) right now that I'm just barely being stretched. I need a change of scenery, a drastic one. At least that's what I think I need. God tends to have different thoughts on that from time to time. So it's still a waiting game. Wednesday? Next week? Who knows...

BUT He's gonna work it out. He always does. Don't worry, I didn't forget.



3 comments:

  1. I'm glad you didn't forget. He'll come through.
    I'm also glad this was a reminder for me.

    also, in your famous words:
    "you are loved friend, did you know?" don't you forget it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tara. Waiting time=Growing time. You're blooming, even now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hear ya. Next week, let's eat mashed potatoes, stuffing, and pie and forget about it all for a while.

    ReplyDelete