addison rae

(photo by: Janice Northrup)



I held her today, my baby niece. She's beautiful. She's got big blue eyes and thick black hair that doesn't ever lay down. She makes noises that could never be spelled out and can only be defined as "baby noises". She's got ten fingers and ten toes, but they're so small that you wonder how the bones fit in there. She's "mushy", I've decided. Real mushy. Sometimes when I'm holding her and she's real wiggly I have horrible visions of her head snapping back and off. Morbid, I know. Real? Yes, in my brain. So I handle her with care, bouncing up and down and making noises that I don't usually make....because, well, she's a baby, she gets it.

She fell asleep in my arms this afternoon, and I fell asleep too, with a smile on my face and an extra fullness in my heart.

My brother has a "daddy" way about him now. And Vanessa has definitely become a "mama". It's strange, they're different. It's this maturity that I think only comes from being a parent. The world is different, all of a sudden. Things that didn't matter do now, and things that did, just don't. I love it. I love seeing them in parent mode. My brother makes me wash my hands regularly. His are getting cracked because he washes them like 30 times a day. New parents. New parents are preciously careful and loving. They're gonna do good. She's gonna be good. Maybe I can get her first words to be "Auntie Tara."