of utmost importance.

Friends. Here's what I would like. I would like to know what your favorite dessert is. I would mostly like to know this because there comes a time in everyone's life when this knowledge is necessary. It's necessary because it's your birthday, and you should be getting what you want. Now, I know a few things. I know that Nick likes pie and not cake, I know that Melissa hates chocolate, and I know that Anthony hates all things white and creamy. But, this is not enough. I must know more. If you don't like ANY desserty things, you can substitute your answer for a favorite dinner... OR...better yet, if you're feeling really decisive you could tell me both. Oh this is great. This is going to be great.

You should know that your answers are probably going to be put in a spread sheet and kept on file for the duration of our lives, ready at my finger tips for any birthday emergency. If, later on, you have changes you'd like to make, don't hesitate to let me know--but for now a simple, "cheesecake forever" or "funfetti cake has it all in the name" will suffice.

And in case you're wondering about MY favorite dessert or even if you weren't wondering, I will tell you. I don't really like cake. Especially chocolate cake. I would rather have pie any day. Fruit pies mostly. Banana cream pie very well may be my favorite, but apple and other goodies like that will do. But if there must be cake then funfetti is delicious.

Alright friends, educate me!

break the chains

I'm at a wedding in Tennessee this weekend. Well, technically Georgia. I get to be surrounded again by some of my nearest and dearest friends. The kind of friends that you can be in the car with and just sit in it. Sit in the friendship and sit in the silence--just completely content to be in each other's presence--listening to music, bobbing your head, staring out the window--doesn't matter, it's just an atmosphere of comfort.

There were a bunch of kids at the Rehearsal dinner tonight. They were everywhere, and my heart was just loving it. For you who have been around me the last year you know that I have become particularly ridiculous in this area. I don't know what happened, but ever since my niece was born something inside of me got switched on--and I am now a blubbering fool when children are around. I just want to play with them! I'm a sucker for peek-a-boo. I do it everywhere. Church, Walmart, Parking lots--no location will deter me. Children, you've got my heart!

I was thinking about this love I have for children tonight as I watched a mom wipe off the mouth of her little girl. The little girl pursed her lips and turned her head away, as if to say, "I don't care if my mouth is dirty." Another little blonde girl, pinked out, was shouting "Daddy look!" in the middle of some announcements. And then there was the rest of them, just running and playing and giggling, climbing over chairs and weaving in and out of adults. And as I watched all this happen I thought, kids are so free! They have no qualms about having a dirty face, saying when they need some attention, or running and jumping around just for the heck of it. They don't yet understand that it's embarrassing to go to the bathroom and find you've had something on your face for the whole day. They don't get that sometimes we don't vocalize what we need, and spontaneous running and jumping is, well, for kids. And I love that they don't get it! I love that they just flat don't care, or don't know that they should care.

So here's the goal--be more childish sometimes. Break the chains of self-conciousness and the overwhelming, always looming awareness that someone might not approve and just go for it--whatever it is at the moment. Eat a melted snickers without wiping your face, DANCE-JOG down the street, twirl with your arms out and face to the sky until you fall over, pee your pants, whatever. It's a little more childish, a little less chained, and a little more free. And frankly, that just sounds real nice.

6 hours and 2 achy legs later.

Today was a very successful day. It was a success on so many levels--but mainly it all rolls up into one big success--which is that I am still in a good mood after this whole day is over.

You see, Jessi and I have been dreading this day for quite some time now. We had strategized and communicated and over communicated about the plan and how we wanted to approach things--until it was finally time to put everything into action.

It was time to go bridesmaid dress shopping.

Now, you should know that I strongly dislike shopping. No, that's not true. I like shopping for about 40 minutes and 2 stores--but after that I'm done. After that I'm Crankster McGee. Also, I hate malls. They make me feel so... consumery. It's like materialism threw up everywhere. So, you can see why Jessi and I were both dreading this. I was dreading it because shopping is not my friend and it was added with the pressure of getting an affordable, cute, feel good, matches the criteria, bridesmaid dress. Jessi was dreading it because she had to help me do that.

But let me tell you, Jessi was a champ. A shopping marathon shopping for yourself is hard enough, but she was shopping for me. I'm so grateful she did though because I'm quite certain I could not have done that without her. I am now a proud owner of TWO bridesmaid dresses. That's right. Two. One for the actual wedding and one for the reception. Just kidding... but wouldn't that be funny? I DO have two though--the loser dress gets taken back eventually.

Anyway, my point to all this is that today was a very special day. Today I shopped for 6 hours, tried on multiple dresses in multiple stores, and--most importantly--stayed in a good mood the entire time. Well, maybe MOST importantly is that I actually have a bridesmaid dress, huh? Today is also special because I, for the first time ever, dropped my shoe in a flushing toilet. Don't you wish that that's what this blog was about?

well this is wonderful.

PHOTO: Jerrod and Jifer are engaged!

By: RIKA FOTOGRAFIA

I swiped this from Facebook. Suckers.

Jessi and I went out to eat with Jerrod and Jifer tonight. They flew into Seattle to visit Jifer's brother, and then they head off to Yakima--but we got to see them first!

And let me just say this--it was wonderful. Oh MAN it was wonderful. They're just one of those couples that fills you up with laughter and warmness--leaving you with hurting cheeks and a lighter heart. I'm serious. I was flying high with joy for a good half hour after we dropped them off. I don't know exactly what it was about that visit, but I haven't laughed that hard or felt that much warmth in my heart for awhile now.

I just love it when you can tell, you know? When you can tell that this is right and they are the ones who can make each other more happy than anyone else in the world. They are just so dang happy! And I love it! I love what I see Jifer doing in Jerrod and Jerrod doing in Jifer. They just refine each other and compliment each other and make each other into absolutely more whole people. And that's how it's supposed to be--two good people coming together to make an even BETTER person.

Someday, I want that. I want people to leave my husband and I with hurting cheeks and full hearts. I want them to feel uplifted, cared for, and like they have just experienced something raw and good. I want them to feel free to be themselves when they're with us, cause we're sure as hell going to be ourselves. And I want us to be solid. Oh man do I want us to be solid. I want to be a couple with wisdom to share, but a transparency that says, "Sometimes we suck at it too." This is what I want--someday.

In the mean time I'll just be so happy for people that are having their turn at it. Jifer and Jerrod are one such couple--and hot DANG am I happy for them!

cuatro de mayo

Seattle's forecast this week:

Collegedale's forecast this week:

Hello sun, friends, shorts and laughter. It will be good to see you all again--SO SOON!

mind over matter.

Every morning I come to my cubicle, start my computer, grab my licorice tea, and head for the coffee station. I refuse to get addicted to coffee in this job--but MAN I can see how people do. On those mornings when you really didn't want to wake up, and you really didn't want to take a shower, and you really didn't want to drive in to work, you just gotta have something that says "Yes, I can move forward with this day." So, that's what my tea does. And I've recently noticed that each tea bag comes with a nice little saying on its tag. Today it tells me that "I am beautiful, I am bountiful, I am blissful." I'm not exactly sure what it feels like to be bountiful, but apparently I am that, today.

My favorite phrase, thus far, was one that gave me a nice little nugget to reflect on for the day. It said, "May your mind learn to love with compassion." May your MIND learn to love...

I'm not good at that. My MIND isn't good at that. From where I'm standing in my own shoes, YOUR shoes don't look battered enough to pardon you from your behavior, actions or short comings. But then I look down and realize that my shoe laces are untied and they smell like I have been running in them for years with no socks (ahem, emily), and I STILL have no excuse. My point is, I'm not good at being compassionate when I think that people know better or should be DOING better--and that's just not the right way to look at things. I get MIND compassion every day from Jessi, and my boss, and my coworkers, and my friends that I don't communicate with, and the people that I am SO BLUNT to--and so why shouldn't I be giving my compassion away more freely?

"May your MIND learn to love with compassion."

Why thank you, Yogi tea, I appreciate the encouragement. I hope it does too.

i just want to start documenting more

I went to Yakima to visit my family after work on Friday. It was a short trip--less than 24 hours--but so needed. My niece is growing up so fast. Her hands are bigger and she jabbers all the time. Instead of "auntie" I am "daudie" and instead of "yeehaw!" she yells "hawyee!". And I love it.

You know what's beautiful about children? They make people smile a lot. There were times when we'd just sit and watch her dance around and laugh at herself--and we'd all just be smiling from ear to ear. We need that, you know. Life is hard and heavy and full of the unexpected (which should be expected by now, I suppose) and sometimes we just freaking need to smile and love the face of innocence.

I got pulled over on my way out of Yakima yesterday. I saw the lights as I hung up my phone. Busted. I have always joked that I'd believe that the "no cell phones while driving law" is a law when I actually got pulled over for it--well, turns out it's actually a law. The nice man told me that I was going 15 over and, did I know that I can't talk on the phone while driving? Yes, yes I did [insert lots of humility and apologizing]. After taking my information he came back and told me that my driving record was good and that he wasn't going to mess it up today, and then proceeded to give me a nice fatherly warning about the wrongs I had done and why I should no longer do them.

I drove away feeling overwhelmed with the grace. It's funny because it really did affect me. I was just so grateful. And you know what? I had been planning on catching up with friends the whole 2 hour drive home, but I didn't at all because, well, he had told me not to. I'm not sure what I would have done if he had given me a ticket. I might have actually talked on the phone, as funny as that sounds.

I've been pulled over 5 times in my life and only gotten a ticket once. I was in Oregon. Stupid Oregon. But don't worry, I got mine. Last night I got a parking ticket from a really grumpy woman who wouldn't just let me move my car. "You can move your car after I give you a ticket," she said as she began writing. She was pretty pissed--about life in general, I think. But, it's ok, I knew what I was doing when I parked--and sometimes you learn lessons the suckier way. And now I am $42 wiser.